Ponder in Your Heart: Taking Time to Discern

By: Kitty Eisenbeil, Director of Formation

As seasons change within the liturgical year, I enjoy looking at how the Church directs our attention to the ways prophets, kings, priests, and the apostles were called to serve God. What was their role in salvation history? More importantly, how did they discern this role and how to fill it?

What is Discernment?

Discernment is most often associated with the priesthood or religious life. It is seen as something you only do if you begin to feel God calling you to one of two vocations. How many of us even stop to discern before marriage? I know I did this very horribly, but God made His voice heard above the clamor of noise in my mind. 

As women, we can most easily see how discernment in our lives changes the direction of the Church. In his book Woman in the Church, Louis Bouyer talks about how important discernment is specifically for women. “It is this which every woman, insofar as she is a woman and if she lives up to her vocation to womanhood, approximates on the natural level and accomplishes on the supernatural level in accepting, like Mary, God’s entire plan for her.”  

When we discern and accept God’s plan for us, whatever that may be in any season, we join our nature to the supernatural, modeling Mary’s fiat.

Mary, who is the bridge of the natural and supernatural, the tabernacle, the theotokos “God bearer,” discerned her call from God not just in the moment of the Annunciation, but many times in her life. At the Nativity, Mary “ponders in her heart” all that she hears from the shepherds (Luke 2:19). When she finds Jesus in the temple preaching, she is left confused, not understanding, and she “kept all these things in her heart” (Luke 2:51).  

What is God Teaching Us?

Edward Sri, in his book Walking with Mary, states, “Mary’s example reminds us that no matter what may happen in our lives, we should always ask God what he might be trying to teach us through these crosses that come our way. We should pray and ask God what he is trying to teach us through these crosses. We, like Mary, should keep all these things, pondering them in our hearts.” (86) 

We have a remarkable example to follow when it comes to discernment. Mary not only shows when we should discern, but also why it is so necessary, as women in the Church, to discern the will of God in our lives. Her discernment meant the coming of the Savior. Sure, that is probably not where we are called, but “the call of Mary, and of every Christian, consists of giving Jesus free reign so He can do His will without any hindrance” (Stinissen, 1999).

Discernment is ongoing, yet as we move in and out of different seasons in our lives, we often set it aside or forget about the importance of continuing to discern where God is calling us in the new roles or the new seasons we encounter. 

After spending eight years working within my professional field, building a practice, and developing expertise, I was called to a new life of military service overseas with my husband and children. While this was one of the greatest adventures in my life, I had to spend a great deal of time discerning where and why God was calling me there. I was pulled from the comfort of an established career and a way of life, knowing who I was, who was in my community, and where I was supported. Suddenly, I had none of those things and no clear path ahead of me.  

Thus began three years of discernment. Three years of getting to know Christ in my heart, or rather, learning to make room for His will in my heart. This required time in prayer, both in front of the Blessed Sacrament as well as while I washed dishes or was driving down the tiny British fen roads. It required a spiritual director, one who asked me to always consider “what is God saying to you now?”  He never let me dampen the voice of God in my heart.

Is It My Season to Discern?

So as we approach a new liturgical season, maybe it is a season of discernment for you. How is God calling you into the season of Lent, the season of prayer, fasting and almsgiving? How is God calling you to be connected in your community? How is He calling you to be a saint in your home?  

If you need some help understanding where to start with discernment, consider:

• Taking some time with our MCCW resources on discernment! Written by military women for military women, these simple guides are a good place to start.

• The spiritual exercises of St. Ignatius of Loyola also offer a deeply prayerful way to open your heart and mind to hear where God is calling you. Check out this guidesheet on the steps of discernment.

• Much of discernment can also be the day-to-day contemplations you have. Thoughts that come up while in conversation, words or phrases that strike you while you speak with friends or are reading, or even a sense of peace or comfort that comes over you. 

• I also cannot emphasize enough the wonderful experience of discernment with a spiritual director. This spiritual guide can help you navigate the bumpy path of God’s will with fresh eyes and no bias (except for your holiness).   

One thing you will never need to discern is your call to pray for each other. Let us all ask God to clearly place on the hearts of our sisters His will for them as we each enter into the different seasons of our lives, called to build up a stronger Church, responding by living fully the will of God.  

 

References:

Mary in the Bible and in Our Lives by Fr Wilfrid Stinissin, OCD

Walking with Mary by Edward Sri

Woman in the Church by Louis Bouyer